Jeeeeeez American Apparel - you know I feel affectionately toward you, but DAMN - your winter coats are not only horrendous, but embarrassingly overpriced...even for you.
I know AA is supposed to fill a "basics" niche but shit, there's a difference between basics and straight up boring. My suggestion to you, AA (not that anybody asked) is to stick to what you do best: v-necks, sheer things, and gloriously skanky models (who wants to be on the AA website and see these chicks covered up?!).
If you wanna take a closer look at these terrible, terrible coats (why you would, I don't know), click here.
Anybody who knows me knows I'm pretty adamantly against tie dye. I was raised in Oregon surrounded by too much of it - suffocated by it really - and have grown to associate tie dye with the pungent smell of patchouli, and the moist-dirt taste of tempeh generously sprinkled with hemp seeds.
That said, last week in Oregon...I bought a tie dye onesie.
Not sure if I did it ironically, or perhaps with some sentimentality - maybe I'll never know. But I do know that this little item is fun as shit...and so it shall be worn religiously.
Without being totally dramatic - it's everything I could have ever asked for. I mean, it's everything I did ask for!! Seriously Zara, I love you...now come to mamma.
Last week I found myself admiring some old Jessica Rabbit photos, which ultimately lead me to watching this:
Now aside from the fact that Ms. Rabbit is arguably the sexiest cartoon character ever, who manages to seduce real (aka non-cartoon) men, and who walks on her tippy-toes in seemingly zero pain, what I really can't get out of my mind is that slit.
The way it sways with her hips, how it fully reveals one leg while keeping the other completely covered...how has The Slit not become hugely popular yet?!
So of course I took it to eBay to see if anything popped up for me to snatch:
Ok whoa STOP. Definitely NOT what I had in mind. I want a casual dress, in a non-fussy, drapey material, that's modest everywhere but the slitted leg, and that I could potentially wear with something like combat boots and a leather jacket.
In 2009 I wrote about my quest for The Perfect Black Wedge - this was before they were mass produced by every single shoe brand alive. A year later - VOILA - they were everywhere. Maybe the same will happen with slits, and next year the casual but sexy slit dress will be as ubiquitous as the black wedge is now...
Maybe I should just start cutting my own slits just like I used to do up the sides of my pants in 1996 before flare pants existed? Maybe not. Hm...maybe though...
Last week at the hair salon I was flipping through a recent W Mag and came across a multiple-page spread, photographed by Mario Sorrenti, of Dakota Fanning and her sister. I stopped - transfixed - when I arrived at this image:
Platinum hair, white dresses, white background and black lips.
Inspired, I embarked on an aggressive quest to find some black lipstick for myself. No, not super dark brown (which I have), not extra dark red (which I also have)...but BLACK...and matte. I searched far and wide, including digging deep in my memory for the most gothic-style brands of like, 1994: Hot Topic, Manic Panic, even Ricky's didn't have the proper stick.
So what'd I end up doing? I bought a black Stila Smudge Pot from Sephora - black gel eyeliner. It's matte, it's very black, it's smooth, AND I can also use it as an eyeliner! The results:
Last week I got an email from A-list PR (who's that?) with an invite (kind of) to an Apple Bottoms Charity Fashion Show (the jeans?) - yes, the jeans.
The show was to benefit Haiti (ok cool) and, at the same time, "EMPOWER women with curves & show them in a positive light" (what's that now?). Alright so maybe the mission statement needed a bit of work...whatever. Here's the promo pic in case you're curious:
There's more! If you want to attend the benefit as a "blogger", you can pay $15 (just half price!) and buy yourself the following:
Sit in our bloggers row/ VIP Row (value of $40)
Receive a gift bag of goodies from our sponsors
Join us on our RED CARPET
Get mentioned on our site and online press releases as a sponsor
Get mentioned on our twitter blast (we have over 20k followers)
and more...
So now rebuilding Haiti and empowering women are secondary, and it's all about getting to sit in the blogger row, receiving goodies and walking a red carpet...for just $15!! Oh wait, um...you also have to whore yourself out to the internet, any followers you have, and not put your phone down - even for a second - at the event. Here are the requirements.
Blog about our event (you can feel free to copy & paste our press release) a PRE-POST
Agree to tweet and update your statuses DURING the event
Agree to have a phone capable of uploading pictures of the event DURING the event on twitter, FB, etc...
