Sometimes things in life are embarrassing.
Today I was walking down the street behind a woman with the back of her skirt tucked into her underwear.
We all know this dilemma...do we show good will toward women and tell her about the unfortunate fashion disaster, or do we mind our business...giggle...and continue on our way? Normally I'd like to think I'd do the former, but now factor in that this woman today was old. Like maybe 75-80 years old. And her undies weren't just undies, but actual granny panties. And though that shouldn't have changed anything...it did...shame on me.
But it lead me to think about all the embarrassing things we go through, those friends who will always tell us when we're victims, those dickheads who don't, and the way we feel when we realize we've spent several hours with spinach in our teeth or a booger sticking out of our nose and nobody said a damn thing!
So here, in no particular order...and for no particular reason...embarrassing things in life - for all people involved:
1) Lipstick on the teeth
I touched on this briefly in my lipstick post several weeks ago. I think the only reason it's embarrassing is because it makes you look a hot effing mess. My immediate thought is like an old Jewish woman who chain smokes and has a deep raspy voice...and calls everybody deahling. Think Joey's agent from Friends:
If you're put together enough to wearing lipstick, it means you're investing in the way you look...so damn - apply, blot and check yo teeth!!
2) Nipple Slip
Tara Reid made this famous - the nipple slip - that revealed her boob job to the world. Perfect for sorority girls and drunky drunks - not so perfect when you're chatting up a cute boy at a bar and only realize after that he wasn't gazing south of your neck because he liked your new shirt.
3) Toilet paper on the shoe
I'm not sure why this one is so embarrassing, but it is. TP on the shoe is like telling the world, "hey world, I just sat on/squatted over a toilet and either did a number 1 or 2, and I'm a human being and have bodily functions". That's gross and way too much info for most people (boys) to handle.
4) Fly Down (or "XYZ")
Remember "XYZ" - eXamine Your Zipper? I'm a fan of it...except when people don't get it...then you've gotta be like (eye roll) "um, your zipper." I've rarely been caught with my fly down - in fact, I'm pretty sure it's mostly a guy thing...lazy em-effers...can't put the seat down and can't be bothered to re-zip their flies.
5) Spinach in teeth/booger in nose etc.
There's something about the face...and things that don't belong there. Things in teeth, coming out the nose, in the corners of eyes, on the side of the face - be it food or shmutz or something your body produces naturally - it's awkward and makes everybody around it feel awkward. We'll never know why - but I always try to say something because seeing later not only makes you resent the person you were with who didn't tell you, but is just plain embarrassing.
That post had no point. Oh, maybe I should have said that before you read it. My bad. Oh wait, yes it did. BE A GOOD SAMARITAN!!! Tell people when any of the above applies to them - though it may be awkward in the moment, you are doing a good deed and you shall be rewarded for it.
Interesting brings to mind the other day while on line to pay for my goodies a ladie behind me taps the girl infront of me and tucks the tag of her top inside saying 'i had to it was bothering me' I was like wtf, ok. So i guess it was a good samaritan act but I failed to see big deal. if the tag to my panties were sticking out lol I would then want someone to tell me. Like as o' matter fact I was at work busting my ass when somehow my over sized bikin briefs (granny panties) were perched nicley over the waistband of my pants. I noticed a man staring so instinctively I reached back there and to my surprise my panty was doing interviews. :D oh well...
Post a Comment