The Coach Club

Yesterday I had some time to kill before a salon appointment, so I went to the Coach store nearby. I had been there before (since I'm chronically 20 minutes early to everything, sigh), but this time something was different.

- My outfit: Converse, grey jeans, black wool sweater, black leather jacket, canvas bag
- My internal monologue: Wow these bags are really nice and way too expensive, it's nice to be inside on such a rainy, windy day
- Sales clerks' internal monologues: This girl is clearly killing time, she obviously doesn't intend on buying anything, so I'll politely say "Hi, let me know if I can help you with anything" and be on my way to help out the real customers.

SECOND TIME (Yesterday):
- My outfit: Converse (yeah, I wear them too much), dark levis, colorful scarf, bigass black Calvin Klein winter coat, and my Coach bag.
- My internal monologue: Wow these bags are really nice and way too expensive, it's nice to be inside on such a frigid, windy day.
- Sales clerks' internal monologues: SHE'S WEARING A COACH BAG SHE'S WEARING A COACH BAG DING DING DING!!!

The result of my wearing a Coach bag into the Coach store was that I was instantly catapulted into royalty status. I feel like this is maybe how celebs feel when they go...anywhere. Every one of the clerks grinned at me and praised "nice bag!!" - to which I responded with a wink and a giggle, "thanks!". They thought I was rich and I felt on top of the world. At one point I floated to the top floor and encountered a woman who seemed to be the mother of all Coach sales clerks. "Beautiful bag," she says, "I have the same one." This one, I felt, demanded a bit more respect, so I switched up my response with "I love it too," and I smiled. Then I picked up the brown Leather Kristin bag from the Soho collection:
We talked about the bag for a little while - I fell in love with her as she spoke about the leather and the shape and the smell, and how sometimes she takes her charms from her Coach bags and puts them on her other non-designer bags to "dress them up." Her voice was deep and mellifluous. She took out the bag for me to try it on. "Oh it's a bit out of my price range," I said (a cool $598 plus tax, blech). "Well it's not too bad," the Coach mother said, "besides, Valentines Day is coming up, maybe you can get that special someone to buy it for you. Pretty girls like you deserve nice boys who buy them bags."


I was jolted out of my Coach fantasy - I'm not a celebrity, and unfortunately I don't have $600 at my disposal. Maybe I was better off walking in there with my canvas bag. Maybe I belong riding in coach class, rather than buying class with a Coach. Regardless, I will continue to carry my bag, because it's beautiful and fabulous. And now we know, if you have a Coach bag and you need a pick-me-up, the store on 57th and Madison is a surefire way to make you feel...something.


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