So hot. I remember looking to supermodels like Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford and yes, even Tyra...remember when she was a BOMBSHELL?? (Yeah, I just said bombshell). They wore heels and tight dresses and things with lots of different colors of lace. Legs, boobies, cheekbones, lips...they were feminine, they were provocative...they were Sexy.
Now, in 2008, things are a bit more complicated. Or maybe they've always been this complicated, but a recent S&D conversation has gotten me thinking more about the complicatedness. In the world of "sexy" there are a few different footnotes that I'd like to address. We already kind of touched on one of them in our previous post Pumps and Dunks, where we mentioned that sexy isn't necessarily heels and a dress, but can now be, for example, some nice skinny jeans and 'prece-worthy sneakers. Just make that booty look plump and/or show some cleave to add the little femme touch.
**I should note here, in case you haven't figured it out that Snaps&Daps is comprised of 2 people, a boy and a girl, Dushane Ramsay and myself, Mihal Freinquel. Dushane tackled sexiness in "Pumps and Dunks", so this post is coming to you from a female perspective.
Anyway, getting back on track. What I was just talking about is Footnote #1: What clothes make women look sexy? Some guys tell us they just like us in a beater and sweats. Some like lingerie, some like the whoooole getup (something short with heels and makeup), some don't care until whatever it is is taken off. Flip through most women's magazines and you will undoubtedly find a section with a title to the effect of "Trendy vs. Trashy". This exists for those women who go all out to get their sexy on and need a reference guide to tell them when they've crossed the very fine line between "I want him to want to take me home" and "I want him to take me home then pay me for my services". Example:
I should make a disclaimer that Elizabeth Hurley always looks like a sex goddess - trashy, trendy, whatever. Here, however, with a butt coming out of the top of her dress, and a weird arts and crafts project crawling up her left shoulder...trashy.
Here: stiiiiill smoldering sex goddess, but not "Pretty Woman" style, just a pretty woman with style.
So there's the fine line. Maybe guys can't notice it, but us ladies certainly can. Which brings me to my next footnote on Sexy, Footnote #2: Who are we really dressing for? We all wanna say we're dressing for ourselves. I feel better when I wear a [insert adjective here] outfit. I walk taller, it gives me swagger, blah blah whatever. The truth is, the majority of women dress to look good for others. And surprisingly (except maybe on Friday and Saturday nights), it AIN'T for the manses. Nope, it's for the other ladies. Let's face it girls, unless you're crushing on/have a boyfriend like, well...Dushane, your man is not gonna notice whatever elements of your outfit that you think deserve noticing - the gold detail on the button, the buckle on the shoe, that your cami is ever-so-slightly sticking out of your flannel shirt because today you're going for the flirty hobo chic look. Nope, that's a girl thing. Your homegirl will not only notice those things, but comment on them, and those are the things that make us feel fantastic. So with that said, a footnote to this footnote is, the majority of the time girls with style aren't really dressing to look sexy, they're dressing to look fly! This is what I'm talkin about:
Model, Agyness Deyn
Rumi from Fashion Toast
Rumi from Fashion Toast
Creative outfits, unique accessories, funk, sass, etc. etc. Sexy? Maybe, depends who you're asking. Which brings me to our third and final footnote. When trying to impress a guy/get his attention/make him want to have sexytime with us, Footnote #3: How do we reconcile our ideas of "style" with his ideas of "sexy"? Well, I actually have no answer, sorry, because I don't know that I've ever successfully done it. I suppose you can only cross your fingers and hope that your guy has as much fabulous style as your fashionista self. If he doesn't, then my suggestion is to dress "style" 90% of the time, and pull out that freakum dress for 10% of "sexy" time . If he don't get the other 90%, you can either shrug your shoulders knowing that it's his loss, tell homeboy to read this post then take him through your treasure of a wardrobe and point out all the precious details, move on to a new man (who probs won't get it either), move on to a gay man (who most likely will), or spend the entire 90% of your "style" time with your girls. Your call.