Bloggers Posing Weirdly

Anybody who knows me...or has ever seen a picture of me...can attest to the fact that I'm horrible at having my photo taken. My eyes get all wide, my lips become pursed, my cheeks do things I never even knew cheeks were capable of doing. And my body positions...oh my body positions...

So it is from no highhorse whatsoever that I make fun of these horribly/wonderfully awkward bloggers. The poses, the facial expressions, the environments they put themselves in...anything I can get my grubby hands on really. Lookbook just provides infinite amounts of material for me to choose from, and for that I thank them profoundly.  

Now, let's put my cynicism to good use, eh??!!

Stopping to smell the...foliage...has never looked so [insert adjective here]. He's hiding the briefcase behind his butt so it doesn't get jelly of the plant.
"Step forward...no no, step back - wait, no, get on your toes - look away but turn your body toward me...no shift your weight a little more forw...no backward!"
"Dude I think they sent me the crosseyed blow-up doll...I ordered the one with the gimpy arm!"
I think I'm just really drawn to the unfortunate angle on this one...
Bra: out. Buttcheek: out. Hair: windblown and under a fedora. Shoes: weird "ankle foreskin" disaster. Pose: perfectly pigeon-toed mess. I appreciate this photo A LOT.


sheer and long and black

Well it might be summer according to real life, but according to my life, I don't care. I still haven't taken off my boots...or my black. Black is for always - and for now, the particular trifecta of sheer and long and black is really just doing everything for me. I thought I might be able to shake the obsession after a few months, but it's only getting stronger. So what did I do? I went to Etsy and Ebay and typed in the following search "sheer long black". Here are my favs that came up:

two on left from Etsy, two on right from Ebay

Really though, whatthefuck is the point of wearing anything else? If you can give me one good reason I'll buy myself one of the above frocks...oh wait, I'll do that even if you can't.


this thing...

For my third installment of "this thing" (see the first HERE and second HERE) - I've got this vintage suede cape/poncho/frock thing to share with you guys. I bought it in a country western vintage store in Oregon for $35, then I had to have arm slits tailored so I could actually function as a human being.

 (Pardon the use of photobooth in that first pic, if you're new to the blog you should know I'm horrible at taking my own picture...actually I'm horrible at other people taking my picture too...damn.)

Yes, those ovals in the front are actually meant for one's arms to go through...but using them gave me a mean case of the kangaroo arms:

If I didn't use the weird kangaroo-arm-slits and just kept my arms at my side, It was kind of suit-of-armor-like. I couldn't move my arms up or down because they were covered by fabric, and the suede was so rigid I couldn't even bring them up from underneath. I kept picturing trying to swipe a metrocard, and it became very problematic in my mind.


open letter to Zara

Dear Zara,

Yesterday I saw these in your store on the Upper West Side:

You're jumping on the "tribal-print" train eh? Flashy downtown trends aren't really your steez (luckily we've always had Urban for that), but you know what? I'm not mad at you, no I'm not. Ok for $50 maybe I'm a little mad, but everybody's gotta eat I guess (including those cute little Cambodian kids...maybe?). So all aboard the tribal-print train I say!! Woot woooooot!!! (that's the sound a train makes). 

Truly yours,


oh wooooord??!!

I know American Apparel's ads are notoriously suggestive...but do they usually show straight up boobies like this??!!

This is advertising their "riding pants"...get it? She's riding a horse, in case you were too distracted by her two-toned boobs to notice. Me thinks this takes it a bit too far? There are way too many porn-title jokes available to me right now.


Bloggers Wear: Headdresses

"Bloggers Wear": Highlighting items that bloggers wear, how they wear them, and what they're thinking while they do. Today's edition: headdresses...hair feathers...feathery headgear of sorts, I guess...

melissa was here, autilia, crack cosette, billie jean style, wolf and willow (above: bo and bella)

Bob Dylan put it best when he said, "The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind". Actually no, Robert Frost put it best when he said, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." I mean...you know what I mean though? Like, I'm the one taking the road not taken, and my answers - like my head pieces - are blowing in the wind. Life is a journey...as is love - as is knowledge - as are DIY projects...you never know where any of them they will take you! One day I'm in a grass pasture humming Eva Cassidy's "Fields of Gold" and the next day I'm in front of a concrete wall with AC/DC on the mind. 

I'm pensive, I'm sexual, I'm nurturing and I'm difficult. My headdress expresses my rebellion and my sense of culture, and strong sense of roots. I'm from west LA, I'm 1/64 Cherokee, my mom was raised by a Cuban nanny in Miami, and my brother's fiance is from the Philippines - so I have a wide range of cultural influences. I guess you could call me a cultural connoisseur. I majored in "Modern Pop-Cultural Anthropological Philosophy" - a self-designed major at Gallatin NYU - and I made the Dean's list my freshman and sophomore years. Now I'm back in LA, and though I do drive, it's a Hybrid and I never use the air conditioning or the windshield wiper fluid - both are wasteful and contribute to my carbon footprint. 

Oh you like my head feathers? I sell them on Etsy...they range from $150-$250 since I only use real feathers from exotic Caribbean birds. Shout me out!! You get a discount if you type in the code "CONSRV" at checkout.

To read more from the Bloggers Wear series, click HERE

Disclaimer: If you are a blogger who has been featured on this, or any Bloggers Wear any post, please know it is with respectful sarcasm that I post and poke fun at you and your garments. All is fair in love and blogging. Peace out.


"what's your fantasy" by ludacris...as interpreted by my family

The last trip home to Oregon was an eventful one...especially when my mom and step dad serenaded me with Luda's "What's Your Fantasy"...

(shot and edited by moi)

This warms my heart beyond words...


Trend Alert!! COLOR BLOCKING (cough, cough)

As always, I'm here to keep you fashion whores up to date on what's hot and what's horrendous. 

Huge trend for summer?!  


What is it???!!

Oh, uh, well it's this new...I mean baaasically it's the same as...well it's kiiiinda like what you've always been...
...so I'm saying it's pretty much just...

images via lookbook.nu

Color Blocking means wearing two bold/bright colors AT THE SAME TIME.
What's that you say? People have been mixing colors together for a gablilion years? True, but NOW if you wear it, you're doing something right. So please, go forth and wear 2 colors together at once.


oh, jezebel...

It's been a really crazy few days. I contributed an article to Jezebel.com and the response was super overwhelming. If you haven't read it yet, click HERE. A hugely sincere thank you to everybody who sent emails/texts/facebook messages et al. And to the haters, I'll allow Jay & Kanye to speak to you directly:


Bloggers Wear: The Henley Shirt

"Bloggers Wear": Highlighting items that bloggers wear, how they wear them, and what they're thinking while they do. Today's edition: The Henley Shirt.

 michael russo, street etiquette, ryan fessler, vardaanarora, totallyinkarlcerating, (above: dennysworld)

I am a man. I am a gentleman. I am a gentle man. I was raised by a single mother so I know how to treat a woman, but I'm the youngest of 3 brothers, so I can hold my own with the boys. (Or better yet...) I was raised by hardworking parents and I'm the youngest of 3 sisters, so I'm innately in tune with the female psyche. In college I studied philosophy, though I'm really good at math too. I want to be a philosophy professor and make a difference in the minds of young people, and in the world. Where did I go? Yale...does that really matter? Why do I wear a Henley? Honestly, it's a hand-me-down from my father. My father wore them and so did my father's father. Did I mention I come from a working class family? I do. I like to work with my hands too. I'm a Habitat for Humanity volunteer every summer. A few summers ago I helped rebuild the tragedy that struck New Orleans...I wrote an essay about it that was published in Harper's.

No, I don't listen to Jack Johnson and drink PBR, who told you that? I'm a Dylan man. A soul man. And I only drink red wine. I check my email no more than once a day and I don't text...what can I say I have a respect for the classic. Call me and let's connect that way. Let's go get a cappuccino so I can look at you...really look at you, and hear your stories.  I'm no Descartes or Locke or Nietzche, but I lend a hell of an ear. Did I mention I come from a working class family and I have 3 sisters? I do.

To read more from the Bloggers Wear series, click HERE
Disclaimer: If you are a blogger who has been featured on this, or any Bloggers Wear any post, please know it is with respectful sarcasm that I post and poke fun at you and your garments. All is fair in love and blogging. Peace out.


come to me: Cole Haan collab chukkas

Some of you might know I'm a huge sucker for Cole Haan. They recently collaborated with Les Toiles du Soleil, an insanely charming French fabric shop in Chelsea, and here's a taste of the glory that came out of it:

That top pair!! Omg the top pair. They're like a little bit of sartorial sunshine...not entirely inappropriate considering "Les Toiles du Soleil" translates to "Canvas of the Sun". The collection is avail at the Cole Haan store in SoHo, as well as HERE. And it's not just chukkas...there are bags and bow ties involved too (among other delights).


Bloggers Wear: Lace Shorts

"Bloggers Wear": Highlighting items that bloggers wear, how they wear them, and what they're thinking while they do. Today's edition: Lacey Shorts.

haute and rebellious, my daily style, brooklyn blonde, fashiontoast, fashion salade, (above: le happy)

Listen up girls! I've got a secret for you. Actually, it's more like an equation. 

Lace + Thigh + MessyTuckedInShirt = Ultimate Sex Appeal

It's true lol! That combination gets them every time! [Hairflip] Everybody from my landlord to my mailman, even my brother lol, guys are suckers for a pair of great lace shorts. It makes them think of lingerie, which makes them think of the bedroom, which makes them think of sex! [Giggle] Trust me when I tell you - if you're looking for the perfect summer romance - a man to drink wine with and pull out your chair and feed you things...you MUST get some retailing in STAT! lol. Seriously though guys...

It's not like I'm just trying to get guys to have sex with me by wearing these shorts! I'm a romantic at heart. I mean, really romantic lol. I still wear the heart charm necklace my high school sweetheart bought me from Tiffany's.  I've watched Baz Luhrmann's "Romeo and Juliet" at least like 87 times. Not kidding!! But that's not the only side to me. I like to host dinner parties and serve pigs in a blanket (yes, I have a silly side!). My clothes always smell like fresh laundry. I drink iced chai lattes and I looooove being spontaneous and doing crazy things like eating ethnic food with my hands. My ideal guy? Well a sweet guy from a good family with a great sense of humor...he has to love kids too. He should probably be over 6 feet because I'm tall and thin (I always got teased for being skinny in high school!), and I do kind of have a thing for charming Italian men. Oh! And he should be able to fix things around the house...of course lol. 
To read more from the Bloggers Wear series, click HERE

Disclaimer: If you are a blogger who has been featured on this, or any Bloggers Wear any post, please know it is with respectful sarcasm that I post and poke fun at you and your garments. All is fair in love and blogging. Peace out.


when googling yourself turns awesome...

Yes, sometimes I google myself...sue me. Anyway, came across this feature on the Senso Shoes Blog:

I wore the raddest pair of Senso's ever in Rog Walkers "IDENTITIES" spread that came out a few weeks ago. They're reddish/pinkish/salmon and stood out so well with the all-black outfit. Love love love. Here are some screenshots from the feature Senso put together:

Click HERE to go to the Senso spread, and if you haven't seen it yet, click HERE to see the full IDENTITIES spread.

nailpolish on Amazon

Hey guess what? I just bought 3 new bottles of nailpolish on Amazon.com for under $10.

It all started when I wanted Essie's "Little Brown Dress" color - I had gotten it once at a salon manicure and it was such the perfectly rich shade of dark brown. So I walked into Ricky's where it was $11. Uh, no thanks. So I decided to go to the Essie website: $8. Still...no. So, just for fun, I took it to Amazon.com: Essie "Little Brown Dress" - $1.05.

Obviously I went a little nuts and bought 2 more shades:

LtoR: Essie "Lapis of Luxury" $3.88, China Glaze "Recycle" $2.85, Essie "Little Brown Dress" $1.05

That "Lapis of Luxury" is totally Hamptonsy (where I've never been) and pool party appropriate (which I never do)...and the China Glaze "Recycle" is the PERFECT shade of medium grey. All shipped within 5 days, and that's including the long weekend.

Needless to say I'll never be buying nailpolish at full retail price ever again. Happy shopping.